This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
how drunk are you?
Several
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
