If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
