Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
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