I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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