You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
