I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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