No, you can still breathe under the balls.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
