walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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