Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
