I didn't shave. On purpose
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
