took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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