Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
