I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
