some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
