So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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