stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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