in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
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