Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Randomize
