And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
