and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
