She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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