Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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