I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
