I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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