i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
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