it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
My vagina just recognized that song.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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