I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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