guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
