Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
