are you still at the devil's house?
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Randomize
