went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
