You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
