Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Randomize