one might say we're banned from that church
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
