I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
