It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
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Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
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New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
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