Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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