i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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