Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
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