I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I just googled if crying burns calories
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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