SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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