i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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