that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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