Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
