Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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