Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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