i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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