I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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