So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
