Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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