Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
