I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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