man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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