So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
