Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Randomize
