Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
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