i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Couch. On fire.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
