nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I am mentally ready for anal.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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