Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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