in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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