it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
