I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Someone came in the potted fern
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
