New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
