Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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