What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Randomize
