Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
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